Are you new to 12 Step recovery meetings for
pornography or sex addiction?
You are in the right place.
Coming to a meeting for the first time can be scary and overwhelming.
We almost always end up here under horrible circumstances. We lost a job, were discovered by a betrayed partner, were arrested, or got erectile disfunction.
I had spent decades of hard work keeping my addiction a secret. I believed I would 'take this secret to the grave.'
The idea of sharing with others was preposterous; how could that help?
Fortunately, through sheer desperation, my denial cracked, and I was finally willing to come out of the shadows.
I had to admit that 'I was whooped' (as one fellow puts it), and that my life was a wreck. I had no other choice.
You can read about it more in My Story
Here are some resources that might make your journey a bit easier. These are all the things that would have helped me when I first showed up. I hope they are useful!
(corgi pup is here to help you swim in recovery)
- Am I A Sex Addict? (SAA Main)
- Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) (PDF)
Courtesy of Calgary SAA, they have a cool site here. - Find a Meeting [SAA Main Site]
- Find a Meeting [SAA local sites]
- Find a Meeting [SPAA]
- Glossary of Terms (PDF)
A list of common terms / jargon / acronyms used in 12-Step meetings. - The 12 Steps (Secular version, PDF)
The foundation of my recovery is the 12 Steps. They are the same as originally outlined in the 1939 AA "Big Book" adapted only to Sex Addiction. - The 12 Traditions (Secular version, PDF)
Originally written in the 1940's, these traditions help maintain the existence and goal of 12 Step groups. - SAA "Green Book" (external link)
This is the main text of SAA. It's the 3rd edition, with a green cover, thus the name. This is an online readable copy, but it can be purchased here. - 3 Circles Worksheet (PDF)
This useful worksheet helps us define the behaviors we are trying to avoid, the ones that are healthy, and those that lead us to compulsive behaviors. - Atheist / Agnostic Resources
Many addicts like myself feel worried they cannot work the 12 Steps as atheists or agnostics. This is untrue, in my experience. But not everyone knows where to get that support. So I put this page together to help others like me. - Is 12 Steps a Cult? (PDF)
I worried when I was new to 12 Step meetings that they were some weird cult. There are some similarities, and it's good to be cautious. However, there are some essential differences. This is my personal reflection on those.
- Sponsorship FAQ.
This is a great pamphlet on sponsorship published by SAA. - Primary Purpose Groups
There is a sub-section of SAA which works directly from the original 12-Step AA "Big Book." These fellowships are generally more steps focused and they work them pretty fast - usually in 2 months. Because of this, there are usually more people available to sponsor. - New York SAA Sponsor form (Warning: Gdocs Link)
SAA NYC offers a sign-up form to help people match with a sponsor. Unfortunately, they require phone number (won't do email) and use an outside resource for this.
If you don't mind this though, it could be a good resource. - SPAA meetings
This is where I got my first sponsor. SPAA has specific meetings where they pair newcomers with a sponsor. Make sure to ask about this when contacting them for the meeting schedule. - Ask someone at a meeting
Direct messaging or calling someone whos recovery you relate to at a meeting is often the best way to get a sponsor. Attending meetings regularly to show you are committed to your recovery is also recommended. This will show the potential sponsor that you mean business when it comes to recovery, and won't waste their time.
It is recommended to get a sponsor as soon as possible when coming to SAA (or any 12 Step program, really).
However, sponsors can be harder to come by in S-fellowships than in other 12 Step programs.
Here are some tips to help in your search:
Remember that sponsors are unpaid and non-professional. If you are asking for their time to help you, be humble and work around their schedule. They are doing you and me a solid by supporting our recovery in this individual way. Stay persistent and reach out to multiple sponsors at a time - it takes dedication, but it will work out if ya keep coming back :)
